


It's Time

by FiccinDylan



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, Friends With Benefits, Frontotemporal Dementia, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, No Communication, One-Sided Relationship, more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6593386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Stuart were both gifts from their mother to their family before she passed away when they were only 8 years old. Claudia graciously passed down many things to her offspring; her witticism, her compassion and kindness, her quirkiness. </p><p>Most of her gifts brought the identical twins together, but one specific set of gifts, would tear them apart.  </p><p>Stiles received the spark.</p><p>Stuart received frontotemporal dementia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Time

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this last year after my nephew died, and I wrote it in the six hours after hearing that almost exactly a year later, my mom was dying. 
> 
> A lot of this is taken from personal experience and it was very hard to write so I suspect it will be hard to read. This is hard, it hurts and it was cathartic to get a lot of these experiences out. 
> 
> I just had to get it out. It's a happy ending for our boys, but a lot of angst to get there so if you need to sit this one out please do. 
> 
> Thank you.

Stiles and Stuart Stilinski were born identical twins. The doctors thought they would be conjoined with the way they fit together so seamlessly in the womb. Claudia thought it to be good luck and gave the boys the names Stuart Szczęściarz Stilinski and Szczęsny John Stilinski. Despite not being conjoined, the boy were inseparable as the only difference between them was the exact hour between their births. They walked alike, they talked alike and even had the same eye prescription though Stiles preferred contacts and Stu glasses. It was the only time they ever recognized a difference between themselves and that’s the way they liked it.

Stiles and Stuart were both gifts from their mother to their family before she passed away when they were only 8 years old. Claudia graciously passed down many things to her offspring; her witticism, her compassion and kindness, her quirkiness. And together they shared these things between them, shaping the young men into loyal friends to those around them.

They were identical, and sure, they had a couple of differences. Stuart was a little more patient and cunning while Stiles was a bit more reckless, but brave. Stuart was more analytical and Stiles liked to take action. They balanced each other out and accepted that the deficit in one was the strength in the other. They discovered with all of mom’s gifts, this could be accomplished and as long as one had the other they would never fail.

There was one set of gifts; however, that changed everything.

Stiles received the spark.

Stuart received frontotemporal dementia.

“Bro, you’re like, one move away from getting king’d and then you’re gonna dominate this whole thing, you’ll see!” Stiles says excitedly, indicating the clear move on the board. He’s sitting beside his brother’s chair and across from Melvin, raining checkers champion of the Memory Ward. Despite his current rein, Melvin is 86 and prone to napping during the games, leaving plenty of time for strategizing.

Stuart mumbles something that Stiles can’t quite make out before looking out of the window. Stiles looks worriedly at the board.

“Uhh, yeah… okay. So today isn’t the best day for checkers, huh buddy? How about we roll out of here and maybe go watch some TV? Yeah, let’s do that!” Stiles is careful of the IV and tries to roll Stu away, but Stu suddenly becomes agitated, kicking the board onto the floor and watching as pieces go everywhere.

“Whoa, Stu!” Stiles says, reaching out a hand for his brother’s shoulder. Stu looks back and for a moment appears startled, like he doesn’t understand where he is… or who Stiles is.

“I… I don’t- he cheats and-” Stu rambles as Stiles picks up the pieces and the board and tries his best to reassemble the board on the table before Melvin wakes up. He’s not immune to the irony of creating a scene from memory in the Memory Ward. He tries even harder now to remember things. He recites the states in alphabetical order and then again with their capitals. He memorizes the Canadian provinces and knows the name of every president’s wife.

He remembers all the things the disease is forcing his brother to forget. He commits every fact that causes his brother to have to spend time in the Memory Ward with eighty year old dementia patients and wear a special bracelet that says “FALL RISK” because sometimes he wanders and forgets where he is.

He’s just having a bad day is all. That’s what Stiles convinces himself. Some days are good, most are terrible, but they’ve been here before and it will be fine. Well, not fine so much, and to be honest they haven’t been _there_ exactly; it’s never been this bad. But Stu is a fighter and he’s strong and they can beat this thing. Their mom came close and that was almost 11 years ago!

“Think of all the advances in medical technology since then, Stu! We’re gonna get you better in no time.” Stiles assures his brother as he leads him down the hall back to the room. Stu waves at the nurses as he passes every station and they wave back, knowing how much of a regular he is.

“Hey Stu! I brought you some chocolate!” Nurse Jones says from behind the counter. Stu likes him because he brings him fancy chocolates all the time and flirts with him. Stu giggles and walks to the counter.

“I… no, yum and uh, sweet- so.” Stu says as he works carefully to unwrap the bar.

“Oh my goodness, I know! It’s so decadent, and my thighs hate me, but I love it, what can I say? It’s almost as sweet as you!” Nurse Jones exclaims. Stu laughs and then hums as he shoves a piece of chocolate into his mouth. Stiles leans into the counter.

“Dude, you can understand him? He’s been really mumbly lately, what’s he saying?”

Nurse Jones gives Stiles a sympathetic look and shakes his head.

“Stiles, he’s just… _barely_ here, okay? Stay positive, I know this is hard.” Stiles narrows his eyes.

“Don’t treat my brother like a retard!”

“Stiles!” Nurse Jones reprimands. Stiles winces, but stays firm.

“He’s going to get better and when he does, he’s not gonna like hearing that his favorite nurse treated him like an idiot.”

Nurse Jones bristles at the slight and then sighs, placing a soothing hand over Stiles’ forearm, “Sweetie, I would never disrespect your brother, and I know that you know that. But honey, you’ve got to understand; barring a miracle, your brother’s not going to get better. He’s here for hospice this time. We’re going to try and make him as comfortable as possible.” He gives Stiles a squeeze and pats Stu’s head before going back to his filing. Stiles looks at Stu whose mouth is now covered in chocolate and walks him away back to his room.

Later that week, Stuart has a stroke and codes. He resurfaces and is put on life support. The hospital calls the family and starts asking Sheriff Stilinski about arrangements. When his dad leaves, Stiles goes and holds Stu’s hand. He can see his eyes fluttering behind his lids, he can hear the shallow breaths he takes from behind the breathing tube they’ve inserted into his mouth.

“That’s right, Stu. You fight. We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? You just keep fighting.”

 

_ **Thursday** _

Stiles sits in Stu’s room playing a game on his phone. He’s rambling, complaining about how the game always gives free lives as prizes which is crazy because Stiles already has a ton of free lives and he wishes it’d just give money instead.

The nurses come in like clockwork to move Stu in his bed “ _easy, Nurse Ratchet! Don’t want to mess him up for when he gets better!_ ” and ask Stiles if he’s eaten. Sometimes they bring him food and he picks at it. It’s not because he’s nervous, he knows his brother is going to get better, he just maybe doesn’t feel like eating it when all his brother has to eat are fluids. And he would go into the family room to eat, but he doesn’t want to be away from Stu. Just in case.

He remembers the first time they came to the hospital after Stu was diagnosed. They played a lot of jokes on the nurses and sometimes Melissa would come up and lecture them about how they need to be good boys so the nurses could do their job. He’s in the family room and telling the story to Scott who already knows it since he was there, but laughs along anyway. They laugh brightly until one of the nurses comes in and sweetly asks them to keep it down a bit.

“I know you guys are going through a lot, we’re all so broken up over Stu, but there are other families here that also have dying members and out of respect let’s keep it down just a little, okay boys?”

Scott nods quickly and Stiles just stares at her. At that moment he hates her, he hates the other families and their dying relatives. At that moment he needs to laugh if he fucking needs to and… well, he knows his brother isn’t dying, so maybe he should show more sympathy to the other families? Their family members aren’t strong like his brother. With this resolve Stiles finally nods in agreement. He can’t wait until he and his brother can get out of there.

 

_ **Friday** _

Stu used to have a part time job at Beacon Pizzeria, delivering to the local area. They loved him, no, they _love_ him. Actually, Stiles supposes he can say _loved_ since Stu hasn’t worked for them since the last time he checked in. They loved him and the customers loved him. Stu always had a way with people, he was good at it. Stiles could handle parties, but once he had a friend he kind of gave up on the social scene; Stu was always meeting someone new.

They’re having a fundraiser for Stu and donating 100% of their profits for that evening to the Stilinski family. Stu has some insurance, but insuring a teenager for a disease with a median age of 65 is tough. Stiles has seen the bills. That’s why he can’t wait until Stu gets better and they won’t have to worry about the bills anymore.

A guy comes in and sees Stiles. He walks over with tears in his eyes.

“You were his twin, right? Stiles?”

“I _am_ his twin, yeah. Who are you?” Stiles asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Lydia rubs the back of his neck as the guy tries to compose himself.

“Uhh, yeah, my name is Shawn. My little brother had cancer and a couple of months ago Stu delivered a ton of pizzas to the hospital. He was so friendly and compassionate and so nice. He stayed for over 30 minutes just talking to us and we didn’t even know him. When I heard about… about him getting sick, I just… I was so glad this thing was happening so I could you know, give back a little?”

Stiles nods, “So how’s your little brother?” the man blanches and shrugs.

“Uhh… he didn’t make it. It’s still pretty fresh, but we were all there just waiting anyhow. Look man, I’m so sorry for your-”

“Stu is fine!” Stiles says a little too loudly. Shawn looks at Stiles and then Lydia.

“I… I thought- they said he stroked and-”

“And now he’s on life support. Thank you for your lovely story, Shawn. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Lydia explains, graciously giving Shawn an exit as Stiles seethes beside her. When Shawn leaves neither say a word. Scott comes up and hands Stiles a purple T-shirt that says “Prayers for Stu” on it. Purple was Stu’s favorite color.

 

_ **Saturday** _

Derek brings enough Chinese food to feed an army. He sets it up and then goes to Stu’s room where he sees Stiles holding his hand.

“He won’t grip.” Stiles says simply as he wraps his brother’s fist around his fingers. “Yesterday, I got him to grip, but today.”

“He’s weak right now.” Derek offers, and Stiles nods, setting his brother’s hand down before turning fully to look at Derek.

“You reek of kung pao, dude.” Stiles says, grinning and scrunching up his nose. Derek shrugs.

“That’s why I came to get you. I brought food.” Stiles nods and heads for the door. He notices Derek isn’t behind him so he turns and watches as Derek walks up to Stu and squeezes his hand. He kisses the back of it and lays it back down gently before following Stiles into the hall. Instead of going directly to the family room, Stiles diverts them to a smaller consultation room further down the corridor. He pushes Derek back against the door once it closes and presses their lips together before running his tongue along the seam of Derek’s, asking the man for entry.

Derek obliges.

They kiss aimlessly until Stiles’ breath is as shallow as his brother’s and he pulls back and looks into the pale eyes of the wolf in front of him.

“Are you sure?” Derek asks, watching Stiles carefully. Stiles shrugs.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles says with a shake of his head. Derek looks just as clueless.

“I guess… I don’t know. I think we should stop and get food, and then afterwards maybe we can come back and talk, or I can just hold you?”

“My brother’s not dying.”

“We all die eventually, Stiles.”

Stiles nods and pulls Derek from the door, opening and heading back towards the family room. He fills his plate and eats until he gets sick. Derek and his dad talk a lot while somewhat watching some baseball game on TV. Stiles is memorizing the game stats, batting order and player’s names as the two older men talk and cast him occasional furtive glances. He pretends not to notice.

 

_ **Sunday** _

“Everyone keeps saying he’s going to die, but like, we’ve come back from worse than this, you know?” Stiles says as he applies lotion to his brother’s hands. He’s got a nasty gash on the side of his mouth that Stiles has been applying ointment to. One of the nurses was too rough positioning the breathing tube. Stiles put his name on a list.

“Stiles, bro. It’s never been like this before, but look, let’s go somewhere else and talk about this, okay?” Scott insists, hovering at the door. Stiles watches him fidget.

“What? Why?”

“Well they say the hearing is the last to go and you don’t want your last words to be about him dying do you?”

Stiles doesn’t agree or disagree, just lets go and follows Scott as they walk the halls just outside of the wing. They walk subconsciously towards the chapel. Stiles remembers a day a few weeks ago that Stu dragged him there. They laid on the floor and looked at the faux stained glass in the ceiling and walls.

“It’s okay, Stiles.”

“What is, bro?”

“I saw mom yesterday, and it’s okay.”

Stiles cried on that floor and Stuart fell asleep. They laid there until his tracker went off and the nurses came and got them. Stu had gotten out that time. He’d get out this time.

“Since when do you know so much about death?” Stiles asks Scott as they sit side by side on the last bench in the chapel. It’s empty, but Scott still whispers.

“I’ve never been through this before, dude. You, me and Stu? We’re the three amigos! So I looked some stuff up, asked my mom about it.” Scott explains as he makes the sign of the cross. Stiles looks at him and giggles silently though he can’t fault his best friend for being superstitious. Stiles will take all the help he could get.

“So when he gets out of here, we seriously need to talk about you giving him the bite. I hate that we held off too long, but this was officially scary, bro.”

Scott looks at Stiles carefully, “Uhh, Stiles, I’ve already talked to Stu and he didn’t want the bite.”

“What do you mean he didn’t want it?”

“I asked him and he said no. The bite isn’t a cure all, Stu was already pretty weak and who knows how much damage the disease had already done?”

“He’s not- he’s not all there, Scott!” Stiles hisses, throwing his hands in the air, “You know that! Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t I know about this?!”

“It wasn’t for me to tell, Stiles. I thought that Stu would have said something, but even before he got really bad he was pretty adamant about not wanting the bite.”

“It wasn’t for you to fucking tell!?” Stiles yells. Scott puts up his hands and tries to placate his friend.

“Stiles! We’re in.. well, a chapel, but still, you need to cool it, man!”

“Fuck that, go bite him now!”

“Stiles, come on!”

“Fuck you, Scott! You’re my best friend, at least I thought you were!” Stiles crosses his arms petulantly across his chest and stands at the door waiting for Scott to follow him. Scott just sits helplessly on the bench.

“I’ll always be your best bro, Stiles. I honestly thought you knew!”

“Well I didn’t and now we’re fucked because my brother wanted to give up and- no, no, fucking go bite him right now!”

“Stiles, I can’t-”

“If you want to stay friends you’ll do it.”

“Stiles, I know you’re not serious and-”

“Fuck you, I fucking can’t believe you, Scott! Do it now or get the fuck out!”

“You don’t mean that, okay? Mom said that grief can display in many-”

“Fuck grief and fuck you!”

“Stiles!”

“I mean it, Scott. Go bite him, or get your shit and leave.”

“I’m not doing either, Stiles. He’s going to die soon and I can’t leave you to deal with that alone. I know it’s easy right now for you to think you hate me, but-”

“I don’t think, I _do_ hate you.” Stiles says before running down the hall back to his brother’s room. His dad is inside sweeping the hair from Stu’s eyes. Stiles can see Stu’s body moving.

“See? There, dad! He’s fighting, he wants to live and we keep giving up on him and that’s not fair! He gripped my finger the other day and I swear he almost did it today and-”

“Stiles.” His dad says. It’s the sadness in his voice that stops Stiles. That, and the earnestness in his weary eyes. “He’s done fighting, son. These are just autoresponses, sometimes the body keeps fighting, but that stroke took it out of him. We’re removing the life support tonight.”

“But, dad,” Stiles pleads as tears stream down his face, hot and heavy, weighing him to the door frame. “Scott could bite him and- or.. He’s getting better and he’s _fighting_ and- _fuck_!”

“I know this is hard, sweetheart. It’s hard and I’m sorry.”

Stiles finds himself pulled from the door into his dad’s embrace and he cries. He looks over his dad’s shoulder and sees Melissa and Scott in the hall. Scott is staring at him with tear stained eyes. Stiles ignores him and goes back to the family room.

_ **Monday** _

A gentle but firm hand on his shoulder wakes him up. He looks at his phone, it’s 3am.

“It’s time.” his dad says to him and Stiles nods and gets up, following him groggily to Stu’s room.

They stand in the room, Stu is laying on the bed, all the tubes have been removed and all the monitors taken off. He’s still. He looks nearly peaceful. Stiles walks up and holds his brother’s hand. It’s cold and clammy. He kisses his forehead and then leaves the room as the sheriff approaches the bed and cries softly.

Stiles gets his bag and starts putting things inside. Scott walks in.

“Hey, Stiles. You should go back in with your dad. Don’t worry about any of this stuff, we’ll take care of it, okay. Go be with your dad and with Stu.”

“Fuck off.”

“Bro, what?” Scott stills, watching Stiles carefully. He’s got a dangerous glint in his eye as he walks towards Scott, poking him in his chest.

“I’ll _never_ forgive you. He’s dead and… and it’s _your_ fault.”

“Stiles!” Scott exclaims, clearly bearing the brunt of the impact of Stiles’ words.

“Leave me the fuck alone and never talk to me again.”

Stiles bolts from the hospital and gets into his Jeep, driving as fast as he can towards the preserve.

He drives nearly on sense memory before coming upon a recently renovated house. It’s small, just two stories and a few bedrooms. When it was rebuilt, house was downsized to accommodate the new occupant.

Stiles grabs his bag and runs up to the door, knocking loudly despite the early hour. After a moment, Derek Hale opens the door.

*******

*******

Derek checks his clock and sees it’s nearly five in the morning. He’s already up, he’s been sleeping oddly lately and waking up earlier than usual. He doesn’t mind it though, usually taking the time to go on a morning run or ready whatever tasks he wants to get done for the day. It’s early enough that he doesn’t have to worry about hikers or other forest inhabitants, which is why he’s confused when he hears Stiles’ Jeep pulling into his drive.

The boy that doesn’t crack an eye before noon is suddenly at his house at five am? Derek goes and answers the door almost directly after Stiles knocks. He wants to know why Stiles isn’t at the hospital? The sheriff told him they were taking Stu off of life support, but Derek supposes that Stiles probably didn’t take the news that well. Maybe he just needed a moment away before the inevitable?

Derek wants to ask, but he doesn’t, he can tell by the puffy look on the boy’s face that even if he did, Stiles probably wouldn’t have an answer. Even Derek’s wolf knows he’s hurting though, can smell it on him. So he howls at Derek to comfort the sobbing young man and Derek does, enveloping him into his arms and carrying him to the bed. They lay down, wrapped in each other and fall asleep.

Derek wakes up a few hours later to the sensation of something warm and wet laving his throat. There’s a hand on his pec and another massaging his crotch. He looks down at Stiles who looks up at him hungrily and kisses him.

“What do you want?” Derek asks when he pulls back.

“I need you.” Stiles says. Derek obliges.

Stiles and Derek have done this before, but it was never really serious, never went anywhere or meant anything. When he was about to graduate high school, Stiles asked Derek to take his virginity because Stu was going to lose his that night and Stiles didn’t want to feel left out.

Afterwards Stiles went to college and never spared Derek a detail on his sexual explorations, even going so far as to show Derek the new things he’d learn on his visits over break.

“I think twinsense is real, Derek and evidently Stu is just fucking his way through the upperclassmen because I’m horny all the time!”

They convince themselves it’s emotionless, but never cold or unfriendly. They help each other more than a hand, but never anything more. Especially now.

When they finish, Derek gets up and gets a rag to clean them while Stiles slumbers. He then pulls out his laptop to work on some things and suddenly his phone begins ringing. It’s Scott and Derek is about to answer until he sees Stiles’ phone buzzing in his pants pocket at the end of the bed.

Derek retrieves the phone and unlocks it upon seeing it’s Stiles’ dad.

“Sheriff? It’s Derek Hale, is everything okay?”

“Is Stiles with you? Or do you just have his phone? He ran out this morning and-”

“Sir, he’s here with me, he’s laying down, what’s wrong?” Derek can hear the sheriff audibly sigh in relief.

“Good, I’m glad he’s with you. We need him back here though, he should be here.”

“Uhh, okay, yeah, I’ll get him up. Hey, how’s Stu?”

“He passed last night.” There’s a still silence briefly between the two that says all that Derek or the sheriff can muster in that moment.

“My condolences, Sheriff. I’ll bring Stiles back now.”

“Thank you, Derek.”

Derek looks at Stiles sleeping peacefully for what he’s sure is the first and last time in a long time. He walks to his side of bed and sits gently before rubbing his hand in circles on the boy’s back. Stiles stirs slightly before fluttering open his eyes and looking at Derek.

“C’mon. It’s time to get you back.”

Stiles sighs heavily and nods. They go back to the hospital.

*** 

Stiles is morose. The morning of the funeral, Derek has to carry him from the bed into the shower. He barely has the energy to stay standing so Derek wraps an arm around his waist and bathes him. He dresses him and drives them both to the sheriff’s house where the limo is waiting.

“He keeps running away, but he keeps running to you so I guess it’s okay.”

“I’ll always look out for him, sir.”

“I know you will, Hale. Thank you.”

A week after the funeral Stiles shows up at Derek’s door again and initiates sex. He cries at the end, but he won’t let go of Derek; he won’t allow Derek to let go of him. He stays for three days. He mostly stays in bed, getting up occasionally to eat or use the bathroom. At night he wraps Derek around him like a blanket. In the morning Derek is woken up by Stiles riding him, or grasping at his dick. They don’t talk about it, or much of anything. For once Stiles seems to prefer the quiet and Derek? Derek obliges.

A few weeks in after he comes, Stiles starts telling a story of when he and Stu trespassed on the Hale land and skinny dipped in the lake. Derek remembers and tells Stiles as much. Stiles grins before breaking into tears. Derek hold him until he falls asleep.

 

_ **July - December** _

Stiles is hot and cold and Derek is confused. It feels like a relationship, but it’s also not. Stiles needs him, but he doesn’t love him, and this used to not be a problem except now Derek loves Stiles and he knows it. One of the ways he knows it is that he doesn’t care if Stiles loves him back right now. He’d rather be with him in uncertainty that not with him in love. It doesn’t make sense, but matters of the heart rarely do. Especially when that heart is broken like Stiles’ or placed on hold like Derek’s.

He rambles a lot. He’s still not talking to Scott. He tells stories of past supposed betrayals that should have tipped Stiles off to Scott being untrustworthy. Derek sits and listens; doesn’t try to justify Scott’s actions or agree with Stiles, he’s just there. He wonders if Stiles notices him anyway.

“How can I ever trust him? If I were him, I wouldn’t even need Stu’s permission, it was clear that he wanted to live. I always tell Scott that he’s never quick enough to make decisions and see what happened? My brother _died_ because of him!”

All Derek does is nod which seems to be enough for Stiles as he stares out of the window, nursing a mug of tea that Derek made for him. That night, a few moments into Derek fucking him from behind, he pushes Derek off, flops on his back, and jerks himself until he comes all over his chest. When he comes down he looks at Derek.

“Get me a rag, will you? Wipe me down? I might fall asleep and I don’t want to wake up crusty.” Derek nods and grabs a towel, wetting it with warm water before heading back to the bed. Derek cleans Stiles who is headed towards a doze. He pointedly ignores his own hard on.

“You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?” He whispers.

“I’m hurting right now, deal with it.” Stiles slurs before drifting off.

Derek throws the towel in the direction of the hamper and pulls the boy into his chest.

They lay there for a few moments when Stiles’ eyes suddenly open.

“Derek, when the grief leaves, what’s left?”

“The grief never leaves.”

Stiles exhales and nods before falling back to sleep.

 

_ **December - May** _

Derek's birthday is uneventful, usually it’s a big to-do, but mostly because it falls on Christmas and that was a Stilinski Brothers’ specialty. This year Derek thought it best not to make a big fuss. The rest of the pack discreetly wish him happy birthday and that night he, Stiles and the Sheriff go to a Chinese restaurant.

Stiles blows Derek and then rides him until Stiles comes. Then he dismounts and hands Derek the lube. Before falling asleep he kisses Derek on the side of his mouth and says, “ _happy_ ”. Derek looks at the lube and sighs, squeezing some in his hand and wrapping a fist around his still heated flesh.

**April is tough.**

It’s been a year and Stiles’ grief is back in bloom.

“It doesn’t seem like it’s been a year. What happened last year? I can’t remember last month. It’s like, Stu died, and now he’s dying again.”

Derek nods as they walk through the cemetery. They have a spot where they diverge. Derek goes and visits his family and Stiles goes and visits his. They’re at the point so they part ways and agree to meet in half an hour.

The visit for Derek is cathartic, but it leaves Stiles restless. Stiles jumps on him back at the house and Derek sighs.

“Stiles, do you really want to? Can we just… maybe later, but I nee-”

“I come to you for _one_ thing, Derek!” And it’s loud enough and pointed enough that it stops Derek in his tracks. Stiles understands his error right away, but pleads with Derek silently to give it to him, to let him have this one.

“I’ll give you anything.”

“Shut up and do it then!” Stiles cries as Derek fucks him up against the wall. They fall into into a heap on the floor and Stiles pets and kisses Derek’s chest. It’s an apology of sorts without the benefit of actual words or true meaning. Derek takes it.

**May is better**

Stiles has all but officially moved into Derek’s house. He took Derek’s house key, kissed him on cheek and then went and had copies made. He puts one in a fake rock and places it in the flower bed. Derek raises an eyebrow and Stiles scoffs, smoothing the eyebrow down.

“You’re a werewolf, Der. No one’s gonna be stupid enough to steal our shit.”

Our shit? _Our_ shit? The implication isn’t missed, but also not acknowledged. That night they have sex under the stars and Derek comes inside of Stiles.

“Stay in me a little while?” Stiles asks, completely unashamed. Derek gives him anything he wants.

 

_ **June - December** _

“I’ve been using you and using my anger to justify it and I’m sorry. It makes me no better than the others.” Stiles says with Derek’s hand enveloped between the both of his. They’d just got done eating lunch that Stiles prepared from leftovers from the Sheriff’s birthday. Farrow cakes and salmon with a swiss chard salad. It was pretty delicious, even the Sheriff thought so though he bemoaned not getting his annual steak.

“Don’t say that, Stiles. It’s not true, you’re nothing like them.” Derek shook his head, knowing instantly the “ _them_ ” in question. Stiles had been trying, yes, but he’d never been as bad as them. Or at least Derek didn’t know if he could ever admit it if Stiles had.

“No, it’s true. I was selfish and self serving, but the difference is that I’m sorry now, and I won’t keep doing it. I… I won’t touch you again unless you want me to.”

Derek bristles because he understands the implication. “Stiles you didn’t… you took advantage, but it wasn’t malicious and, shit, I don’t know what to say, but you don’t have to do that.”

“Tell me what you want, Derek, and I’ll give it to you.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me.”

“I owe you everything.”

That night he notices Stiles is taking a longer shower than usual and when he goes to check he can hear Stiles jacking off. He sighs and walks in, pulling back the curtain.

“Stiles, I said, you didn’t have to do this. If you need me, I’m here.”

“I fucking took advantage of you, Derek. I… I hurt you and I never wanted to do that. So you know, if you want other forms of intimacy, that’s cool, but I’m not going to use you as a human dildo anymore.”

“Then don’t. But don’t deny me.. let me take care of you, Stiles. You know I need that, my wolf, it needs-”

Stiles looks at Derek’s expression carefully before nodding and leaning forward; pressing a sweet kiss into Derek’s mouth.

“I won’t use you again, Derek. It won’t be… it won’t be one-sided, okay?”

Derek nods and kisses Stiles again before walking away.

The next week Stiles announces that he’s found a therapist that specializes in grief. He starts going and things get better. A part of Derek is still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but still he tries to relax. He and Stiles still haven’t defined their relationship outside of the sex now being just a step above one sided.

Derek won’t push, but he will wait.

This year on Derek’s birthday, Stiles plans a Christmas barbecue.

“Last year I gave you a blowjob, this year I figured you might want some burnt sausage.” Stiles says, cheekily holding one up on a fork. Derek takes a bite directly from the fork and pinches Stiles on the ass causing the boy to laugh at outloud. Scott brings over a plate of burgers and looks at the two shaking his head.

“So when are you two getting married anyway?” He asks, bumping shoulders with Stiles.

“Hey man, you know I’m looking for rings now. Way to ruin the surprise!” Stiles says, throwing Derek a wink before turning back to the grill. Derek looks around and wonders if anyone else saw what the fuck just happened. Does Stiles _know_ Derek is in love with him? Is he _mocking_ him? Is this the grief or is Stiles just being an asshole?

The mood is light, so Derek doesn’t say anything, but Stiles watches him carefully the rest of the day. When they get home, Stiles asks him if he’s alright and Derek nods.

“I’m just tired, ready for bed.” Derek explains as he undresses.

“Want that birthday blowie?” Stiles asks with a wag of his brow. Derek huffs, amused, and rolls his eyes.

“Maybe in the morning.”

“Anything for you.” Stiles says, but Derek doesn’t hear him as he falls into a deep slumber.

 

_ **April** _

“Derek, ever think about expanding the house?” Stiles asks from his spot on the couch. He’s watching a nature show on mute while typing on his laptop. Derek is reading a book on his Kindle from his armchair. He flips to the next page and shrugs.

“Not really, why?”

Stiles watches Derek and Derek can feel him thinking though he stays quiet. Derek wonders why Stiles even asked about expanding the house? Right now there’s two bedrooms, one of which Derek uses for an office, but it could be converted if they needed to move the sheriff in. Or better yet they could renovate the basement, though if they wanted to have kids, Derek supposes it would be advantageous to have more space.

Derek shakes his head quickly dislodging the pipe dreams. He didn’t know when it became okay for him to start planning his and Stiles’ future, but he’s found himself doing it more and more. He’s working up the courage to actually ask Stiles about it, but he just can’t seem to take that final plunge.

“-you know that, right? Do you know?”

Derek’s attention snaps back to Stiles who has apparently been talking for a while.

“I’m sorry, what? Do I know, what?”

Stiles purses his lips and furrows his brow before cocking his head at Derek.

“Thanks for letting me stay here.” Stiles says. Derek tries to connect the statement to what Stiles said earlier, but can’t. He’s also trying not to be bowled over by the implication that Stiles has just been crashing with him for two fucking years.

“Whatever you need, Stiles.” Derek sighs before turning back to his reader.

“Huh.” Stiles huffs. Derek sneaks a peek back at him.

“What?”

“Well I’ve been here for two years now. That’s not a problem? I’m not putting you out?”

“You’re never a problem, Stiles.”

“When should I leave?”

‘ _Never_ ’ is what Derek wants to say. “The door is always open.”

“Derek!” Stiles exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. He mumbles something about really doing a number on the wolf and just shakes his head at Derek’s confused expression.

“Let’s go for a ride.” Stiles says, jumping up and pointing to Derek’s car. Derek follows Stiles out to the car.

They drive around the city and it’s a gorgeous spring day. Stiles directs Derek where to go and they finally end up at the cemetery.

“Did you want to go somewhere and get flowers?” Derek asks before he pulls inside. Stiles shakes his head.

“Nah, Dad has some, don’t worry.”

Derek wants to get some for himself, but figures he can wait until the next day while Stiles was at therapy. They walk inside and when they get to the intersection, Stiles squeezes Derek’s hand.

“C’mon.”

Derek looks down at their joined hands and then down the path to the Stilinski plots.

“Are you sure?” he asks. Stiles nods.

“Yeah.” he answers. Derek leads the way. On days they can’t come together, Derek will visit the plots and replenish the flowers and sometimes talk to Stu and Claudia about Stiles’ progress. He knows Stiles does the same for him.

At the bottom of the long and winding path are Claudia and Stu’s graves. The sheriff is standing in front and he’s got four large bouquets of flowers.

“Hey dad, hey mom, hey Stu!” Stiles greets as he walks up to his dad and pats him on the back. The sheriff looks up at Stiles and then back at Derek, giving him a small nod.

“Hello Sheriff, I was just walking down. I’m sure you guys want some family time.” Derek says, trying to hold back. Stiles nods, increasing his grip on Derek’s hand and pulling him closer.

“Yeah, family time.”

“That’s right, son.” The sheriff says, clasping a hand on Derek’s shoulder. Derek’s cheeks burn as he looks down at the grave while the sheriff and Stiles talk around him.

“I was telling your mom about how you’ve been helping out at the station, even with your schooling.”

“Yeah mom, I was able to update some of their methodology and even got this guy updated to the 19th century.”

“Hey, aren’t we in the 20th century?!”

“Don’t press your luck old man.” Stiles scoffs at his father. He then nudges Derek, “And Derek here helped, didn’t you, Der?”

Derek nods, grinning, “Yes, Mrs. Stilinski, but mostly in keeping Stiles from shorting out the entire station. I’m sure Stu was cringing the entire time, weren’t you, Stu?”

Stiles laughs brightly. Stu was definitely the more technologically proficient of the twins and had patience for all the different boxes that had to be checked before flipping the switch.

“Yeah ‘Dia, thank goodness Derek was here or we would have been responsible for taking down the entire grid, I’m sure.” the sheriff adds with a chuckle.

They laugh at Stiles’ affronted expression and keep talking. Derek smiles, this is something he’s good at; talking to dead people. He was used to it and they didn’t expect him to be an excellent conversationalist so it was nice.

They talk a little longer and then begin to make their way back up the path and to the intersection. The sheriff plans to go ahead back to the entrance while Stiles and Derek head towards the Hale plots. Derek is holding two of the bouquets as Sheriff gets ready to leave.

“By the way, kid. I talked to the plots people: We weren’t expecting Stu to go of course, those spots were for your mother and me.” He begins to explain. Stiles nods knowingly as Sheriff continues, “I was able to get another plot on the side of your mother, but that’s all there is which means you’re on your own kid. I expect you’ll have someone special you’ll want to be laid to rest by?” the sheriff asks, watching Derek. Stiles nods his head completely undeterred. Almost like he’s been thinking about it for a while, perhaps since his brother died. Maybe even since his mother.

“Yeah, Derek’s in the same boat.” Stiles says, causing Derek to look up quickly. He sputters slightly, wanting to explain, but is too shocked that Stiles even knows. “There’s no room left for him on the Hale plots and all the surrounding ones are taken. But see that little spot of land right there?”

Stiles points to a small triangle of land that sits right at their intersection.

“It’s too little for two plots, but it’s equidistant between our plots and the Hale’s, so I was thinking maybe we’d get cremated and then have our ashes buried and plant a tree there?” Stiles looks wistfully at the land. The sheriff nods and grins.

“That’s really lovely, Stiles.” he compliments. Stiles is still looking at the triangle so the sheriff clears his throat and indicates towards Derek. Stiles looks over at him and see him openly weeping. Stiles waves to his dad and leads Derek down the path to the Hale plots. Derek is still crying when they get there.

“Sweetie, what is it?”

“It’s so fucking beautiful is what it is, dammit, Stiles, what the fuck?”

Stiles giggles as he pulls out a tissue and begins to dab at his wolf’s face. Derek pouts.

“How come I never knew you knew all that stuff about the plots? Why haven’t you ever talked to me about it?!”

“I’m trying to, Derek. I’m working on it.” There’s a small bench in front of the Hale plots so Derek and Stiles sit there as Stiles threads their fingers together. “Babe, we’ve been living together for two years and I still have things I can’t talk to you about. Not because I don’t trust you, but it’s anyone, it’s _people_. I acted like an ass after Stu died and I was scared of everyone turning me away. I used you and tried to get you to hate me and you wouldn’t. Scott refused to let me hate him, my dad didn’t turn to the bottle like last time. I was forced to deal. But in the meantime I had to talk so I’ve been here more often than not, jabber jawing to your family.

“The groundskeeper saw me and we started chatting and he’s the one that told me about your plots and gave me the idea for the strip of land. I already bought it for us, we just gotta decide on the tree.”

“How about a cherry blossom?” Derek suggests, “They bloom at night, I think we’d like that.”

Stiles grins but settles, “Derek, you know I’m not… _crashing_ with you, right? We live together. We’ve lived together for two years and you’re in love with me.”

Derek braces himself and nods, “I know.”

“Then why don’t you know I’m in love with you back?” Stiles asks nearly in a whisper.

“I didn’t know I could be, that that’s what you wanted. It’s been a tough ride for you, Stiles. Laura was my best friend and my sister, but I couldn’t imagine losing my twin. You lashed out, like I did, and I didn’t know if you were ready for a relationship. Hell, I still don’t know if you’re ready now.”

“Stu was my other half, he filled me in where I needed it. When he died, you became my other half. You filled me in where I need.”

“I can’t be his replacement.” Derek gazes into Stiles’ big brown eyes, trying to convey his truth. Stiles nods.

“I don’t need a replacement brother, I need a lover. I love you and I need you. You’ve always filled me up, but before it was excess. Now it’s just enough. I’ll always love you, Derek. Even after that tree we sire is a thousand years old, I’ll love you. And I’ll be better at showing it, I promise.”

“I love you, Stiles, and I believe you love me. I promise I’ll do a better job of seeing it.”

They grin at each other and sit enjoying the spring breeze a few moments longer before heading back to the car. The sheriff is leaning against his cruiser waiting for the boys.

“So how are the Hales this fine day?” He asks, giving Derek’s arm a squeeze.

“They’re fine, Sheriff.”

“What would you guys say to some pie?” Sheriff asks as he playfully puts Stiles into a headlock. Stiles laughs.

“Sounds good, pops.”

“Yes, sounds good, sir.” Derek adds. The sheriff stops in his steps and looks at Derek.

“Well hell, kid. It’s been two years, and Stiles has a damned burial plot for you, you might as well start calling me ‘ _dad_ ’!”

Derek can’t help his blush, but winks when he looks up.

“Low sugar for you, dad.” he quips as he slips into the driver’s side of his car.

Stiles guffaws as the sheriff groans and gets into his own car.

“I’ll see you boys at the diner.” He grumps before peeling out of the driveway.

Derek and Stiles sit for a moment in the car. They’re holding hands when after a few minutes, Stiles lets go and looks over at his love.

“Derek?”

Derek doesn’t speak, simply cocks an eyebrow and looks back at his future. Stiles nods.

“It’s time.”

Derek turns the key in the ignition and drives them to the diner where they meet the sheriff for pie.

 


End file.
